Buffy meets Red Witch's Misfits
by c-wolf
Summary: Buffy meets General Whithalf. If you don't remember him, he's in some of Red Witch's past stories.
1. Default Chapter

(Red Witch's characters provided the muse, and I got the idea while writing the new chapter to "Things that would Unnerve the X-men"

I do not own Buffy the Vampire slayer, or The X-men. Nor do I own GI-Joe.   
  
Trinity, Toad, and BA teleported into a weird location.  
  
"Bloody hell!" yelled the blonde haired man that BA was sitting on.  
  
Brittany, Quinn, and Daria looked around. "Where are we now?"  
  
Toad had landed on a cash register, and was being hit about the head by some girl who was yelling. "I'm trying to count the money! Get away! I want to count money!"  
  
A man wearing glasses walked in, saw the scene, and adjusted his glasses. "Spike, who did you bring in this time?"  
  
BA stood up, looked around, then grinned when he saw a coffee pot. As he walked over to it, he took a bag of something out and poured something in.  
  
A young man about twenty, walked in and started laughing at what the girl at the counter was doing.  
  
"This isn't funny!" yelled Toad who proceeded to hop away, chased by the crazy girl.  
  
A blond haired girl walked in, followed by two others. She took out a wooden something, and started chasing after Toad too.  
  
Trinity said in unison "Uh-oh!" and used their telekinesis to hold everyone in place except Toad who had backed into a corner to protect himself.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
After everything was finally sorted out, Buffy apologized for thinking Toad was a demon. They sat down and tried to figure out what to do. BA served the coffee. The poor demons and vampires in Sunnydale didn't know what they were in for.  
  
Screams were heard from various parts of town. If it were any place else, the police would be investigating. Around there, though, they just locked up the station and took out the assault rifles.  
  
Five vampires ran screaming through a graveyard. Another one, just finished feeding, watched them run by. "Funny, how'd they get soaked in syrup and ice cream?" Then he found out. The five, meanwhile, ran into Giles, who was a tea drinker. "Kill us please! Anything's better than this!" He obliged.  
  
A horde of vampires near the bronze, had discovered a tasty treat... or so they thought. When he started hopping around and sliming them, they got mad. When he moved too fast for them, they got irritated. When he started kicking them into various tree branches, they ran away screaming, followed by maniacal laughter.  
  
The rest of the creatures found themselves being herded toward the center of town by three young girls with powers, and a maniacal short bearded man. Their screams were worse.  
  
Xander and Anya made use of the extra energy, as did Willow and Tara.  
  
As for Buffy, never give caffeine to a high strung Slayer dating a blonde vampire.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
Everyone except Trinity woke up with headaches the next morning.  
  
"SPIKE , GET OFF ME AND GET OUT!"  
  
Spike ran out of the basement, yelling "Bloody Hell! You're the one who dragged me into the basement by my feet!" He ran by a laughing Dawn.  
  
Anya asked "Can we get that recipe? Please?"  
  
Xander just groaned as he lay there, too weak to move.  
  
Toad lay on a tree branch, snoring away. A miniature dust storm blew away from him.  
  
Trinity and BA were playing a card game, waiting for Toad to get back so they could figure out where to go from there. The Dawek demon they were playing on top of wasn't too happy with that. However, since he was the one survivor of the whole escapade, he wasn't complaining.  
  
Willow and Tara grinned at each other, and basked in the morning sunlight from the bedroom window.  
  
Giles read a book.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
"Now that we're all here." Giles began, while groans filled the room. "Have you found out how to get home?"  
  
"Do you have the recipe for the wonderful beverage called coffee?" Anya asked.  
  
BA handed it over, while Giles smacked his head.  
  
"Yes, we finally figured out the problem. Well, it's been a blast!"  
  
"That's one way to put it." Said Xander. "At least the town's going to be quiet for awhile."  
  
The tied up Dawek demon screamed. "They're going to take me away! Kill me, please! I'll do anything, anything. Just don't let me go with them!"  
  
The teleporter activated, and they went home finally.  
  
The Sunnydale crew chased Anya out the door and around the town, trying to get the recipe from her. Giles just banged his head against the wall.  
  
THE END


	2. Shipwreck comes for a visit

Buffy walked through the graveyard. As she did, she heard screams from a female. Next thing she knew, she was bowled over by none other than a screaming Drusilla. Right after her, came a sailor with a parrot flying after him. He was yelling "Come back!"  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
Brittany, Quinn, and Daria walked into their bedroom.  
  
"Uh-oh." Said Brittany.  
  
"What?"  
  
"One of our dimensional teleporters is missing, and so are Dad and Polly."  
  
Toad walked in. "What happened?"  
  
"Father has gone on a dimension hop."  
  
Quinn thought for a minute. "Wait... he took the one that has Buffy's coordinates in it. We never removed them."  
  
Toad smacked his head. "The Librarian guy isn't going to like this."  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Buffy stumbled into the magic shop. Giles looked up. "What happened?"  
  
"I saw Drusilla, or rather I got run over by her."  
  
Giles adjusted his glasses. "This isn't good."  
  
"For her, or the guy who was chasing her as she screamed?"  
  
Spike walked in, at which point, a bright light appeared. Four people popped out of it.  
  
"We're back!" Trinity yelled.  
  
"Bloody hell!" yelled Spike, underneath Toad who had landed on him.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
"So, your immature father somehow got your teleporter and came here. He wouldn't happen to look like a sailor and have a parrot flying after him would he?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yep!" Trinity chorused.  
  
Buffy sighed. "If he's as behaved as you four, then it's no wonder Drusilla was running away from him while screaming."  
  
Spike looked up. "Dru? Here?"  
  
"She's a vamp?" Toad asked.  
  
"The deadliest."  
  
"Not compared to Shipwreck. As long as it's female, looks human, and is physically attractive, he's in more heat than a high school football team."  
  
Spike looked weirdly at the four. "So we have to rescue her?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Where should we look?"  
  
"He's either looking for women, or going to a bar."  
  
Spike, Buffy, and Giles looked at each other and said simultaneously. "Willy's"  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
When they arrived, things were in full swing. Four demons of unknown nature were for some odd reason dancing drunkenly outside the bar. They didn't even flinch when Buffy got near them. She decided that Drusilla was more important, so they lived.  
  
When Giles opened the bar door, all three noticed several demons lying haphazardly all over the place. Apparently a bar fight had broken out. Shipwreck was playing pool, with some demons arm in the place of a pool stick. Willy was supplying him with free drinks. Drusilla was nowhere to be seen. Polly was somehow laying flat on Shipwrecks shoulder, unconscious, without falling.  
  
Shipwreck waved drunkenly. "Hi girls, hi Todd."  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Trinity and Toad would've taken him back immediately, but Giles wanted to find out about Drusilla. So they all went back to the magic shop, after Giles figured out that the dancing demons were dangerous and killed them with a weird potion.  
  
After four hours, Shipwreck was finally semi-coherent.  
  
"Ok, where's the dark haired girl you were chasing?"  
  
"Oh, her. She's the reason why I got drunk."  
  
"As if you needed a reason." Toad yelled.  
  
"Wouldn't you if a beautiful woman you were chasing, stuck a piece of wood through her heart and disappeared into dust? She was yelling at me to stay away."  
  
"She was a vampire, dad. Be thankful she didn't try to turn you." Brittany said. Then she looked at Spike, Giles, and Buffy. "Sorry, I know we promised to stay away."  
  
"Drusilla was more dangerous than most things we've faced. You did us a service. I just wish I knew why she was here." Giles shrugged.  
  
"Well, it's been a blast. Time to get Shipwreck and the flapping fool home and detoxed." Toad grinned. The five and the passed out parrot disappeared.  
  
Meanwhile, across town, Willy was trying to sell what was left of the dolls Drusilla had ordered to drunk demons who wouldn't remember it in the morning. 


	3. Pietro and Wanda come for a visit

(to RoguefanKC: actually, I'm more of a fan of Red Witch's portrayal of Shipwreck, though I like him from the cartoon too. To Red Witch: I never planned on a chapter 2 when I wrote chap. 1, now it looks like your characters and the buffy characters have once again taken on a life of their own. It happens sometimes. also, looking forward to a new chapter in the sleepover fic. love it.)  
  
"COME BACK HERE YOU IDIOT!"  
  
Pietro ran into Trinity's room and closed the door behind him. Then he looked around for a way out. On the bed, was what looked to be a mass Transport watch.  
  
"Ahhah." Pietro grinned. He picked it up, and pressed the button. As he did so, Wanda blasted the door down and tackled him. Trinity and Toad ran in behind her, but they were too late.  
  
"Uh-oh, not again."  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Buffy, Xander and Willow were having some down time, just before Buffy had to do some serious patrolling. As they roamed toward the Magic Shop, they heard yelling. Turning toward it, they all three got bowled over by a laughing blur, and a girl in red.  
  
"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Last time this happened, we had a visit from Trinity... while you two were at home. We might as well talk to Giles. It's going to be an interesting evening whether we want it or not."  
  
"Trinity, Toad and BA were here?"  
  
"No, BA stayed behind. They came looking for their father... a lunatic, but in some weird way, a nice guy to have covering you in a fight. At least that was my impression. He caused Druscilla to commit suicide."  
  
Xander and Willow yelled "WHAT!" in unison.  
  
All three arrived at the shop, and walked in. They saw a familiar sight. Anya was chasing Toad once more. Spike was laying on the floor with Quinn sitting on top. Daria and Brittany were filling Giles in.  
  
Buffy spoke up. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a girl wearing red chasing a speeding idiot, would it?"  
  
"Yep, that'd be Pietro and Wanda."  
  
"Would you get off me!" yelled Spike.  
  
"Any ideas how to find them?"  
  
"Just follow a path of mayhem and screams."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "Like last time huh?"  
  
"Yep, only this time no coffee or alcohol. It's all them."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Ten freshly risen vampires made the mistake of attacking Wanda. She sent a bench at them, that came apart in the process. She never noticed the wood hit their hearts. The one remaining vamp whimpered in a corner, as she stalked forward. "I don't know how they managed to teleport away from me, but you won't do the same. Where's my brother!"  
  
A block away, thirty demons were screaming as they tried desperately to run every which way. But, no matter where they ran, a laughing wind was covering them with paint and hitting them about their heads with a ball- pean hammer.  
  
Buffy, Trinity and Toad left the rest behind. They'd already experienced the handiwork of the lunatics once. Not again. Spike stayed too, and they wound up playing Go Fish with Giles.  
  
As they walked by an alley, they heard whimpers. When they walked in, there was a vampire hanging upside down, wearing only his underwear, with a pair of pliers stuck on a painful area.  
  
"Looks like Wanda's really mad. Hope Pietro lives through this."  
  
Buffy put the vamp out of his misery. A part of her actually felt sorry for him.  
  
They continued walking. A block further, they found unconscious demons painted up in red yellow and green, while wearing pink tu-tus and blond wigs. "Pietro's definitely been here. We should really keep him entertained more... poor guy's been bored."  
  
Off in the distance they saw a figure in red, walking toward them. It was dragging something behind. As it got closer, they noticed it was Wanda. The something was an unconscious Pietro, still wearing a maniacal grin.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
Wanda glared at Trinity. "I understand that you kept the watch to occasionally visit your new friends, but why did you leave it where an idiot like Pietro would get a hold of it?"  
  
"Actually... Shipwreck got a hold of it first."  
  
"I'm not surprised."  
  
"Wanda, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" asked Pietro, while he was chained to a chair with a straight jacket keeping his arms pinned.  
  
"Don't touch my makeup again, and maybe I will!" Wanda glared at him.  
  
"You're not going to delete the coordinates are you?..."  
  
Trinity shook their heads.  
  
"Figures."  
  
"Well, it actually seemed like a good idea to have an escape hatch should things ever get so deadly for mutants at home that we have to leave. I think we'll hide it better though."  
  
"Fine, just wait a couple years before returning will you, we need a little bit of peace around here."  
  
Trinity looked at each other, then Toad. All four and Wanda said "Agreed." in unison. Then they got up, dragged Pietro with them, and went home.  
  
The painted demons were laughed out of town, and wound up being a stage act in a circus. A pride of lions got loose and ate them, then went to the vet for stomach viruses. 


	4. Generals

"Where'd that lunatic General go? We have to put on the show." Said Roadblock.  
  
Everyone started running around the base, trying to find the absentminded General Whithalf. Little did they know, he had roamed into Shipwreck's house.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
If anyone had looked, they'd have seen a 5 foot 4, graying man. He was humming the Animaniacs tune to himself while he waddled through a house that looked like it was in a constant state of repairs. In his fumbling, he accidentally pressed a hidden switch that nobody should have ever been able to find. A section of the wall opened up, inside were a couple of watches. He picked one up.  
  
Toad and Trinity were helping to look.  
  
"Why don't we check Shipwreck's house? If nothing else, free food."  
  
"Sounds good. Lead on your royal goofiness."  
  
"Very funny." Toad grinned and they walked toward it. As they neared, they saw a flash.  
  
"Not again!"  
  
- - - - - - - -- -  
  
Spike was on his way back to the Magic Shop. He was walking by an abandoned building that had an old sign with the words "Paint for sale". As he did, he heard the snarls of a few vampires. "Well, looks like I'll get to fight after all." He started forward.  
  
"What the...!" he exclaimed, watching a gray haired man waddle out of the building. As he walked away, a vampire's foot appeared. Then the building exploded.  
  
"BLOODY HELL!" Spike yelled, as he flew through the clothing store across the street. When he came to a few minutes later, the short man was nowhere to be seen. As for Spike, he had somehow wound up wearing a wedding dress over his clothes. He started cussing.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
The door to the shop opened. Everyone turned and stared in shock. A singed Spike walked in, with a bonnet of all things sitting haphazardly on his head. "What, haven't you ever seen a hat?" As he spoke, a glow appeared, and four figures fell out.  
  
"BLOODY HELL!" Spike yelled, as Toad landed on him.  
  
Buffy smacked her head. Giles who had walked out at the sound of Spike's voice, turned around and walked back to the back room and locked the door. Willow and Xander said "NUTS!" in unison, as they tried and failed to follow him.

"So basically, an absentminded General with a tendency to enjoy seeing how things explode, is roaming loose. Right?" Buffy asked.  
  
Toad scratched his head. "Fraid so. We do kind of need him back at base. He's supposed to be giving some kind of speech in a couple of hours."  
  
Buffy sighed and Xander groaned. Willow hastily performed a sleep spell on herself. They left her with Giles and Anya.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
A couple of vampires noticed a short man coming toward them. They grinned toward each other and walked forward. As they did, he took out a couple of things. "Now... what are these?" He looked up and noticed the vampires. "Excuse me, could you hold these for a minute? I need to check something."  
  
Next thing they knew the vampires were following him around, with the items in hand, and they had no idea how they got there.  
  
"Ah, here we are." He grabbed the items, and inserted them in something he had taken out of his pocket. They stared at the contraption, then their eyes widened. The General as he was known, was already walking down the street. Behind him, a bright light followed by a concussive sound appeared. The vampires were never seen again.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Buffy, Spike, Xander, and the goofballs as she was starting to call the four visitors stopped at a blackened area.  
  
"This smells familiar." Spike said.  
  
Xander thought. "Isn't this what a phosphorus grenade, or bomb does?"  
  
After walking for a couple minutes, they finally came to Willy's and walked in. The demons inside were cheering as a short gray haired man played the piano.  
  
"General Whithalf!" yelled Trinity.  
  
"Ah, girls. There you are. I found the most wonderful people!"  
  
- - - - - --  
  
Buffy groaned. Why her? Why here? Couldn't they bug Riley wherever he was?  
  
"Couldn't you have at least warned me before destroying the building?" Spike yelled at Whithalf, who was fiddling with a piece of yarn he'd somehow found.  
  
"What building?"  
  
"THE ONE YOU DESTROYED YOU IDIOT!"  
  
"I did?"  
  
Spike smacked his head, and walked out of the shop.  
  
Trinity and Toad grinned. "General, we have to get you back."  
  
Whithalf blinked. "Ok. Is it drink time already?"  
  
Toad looked at him oddly. "You're supposed to be giving a speech aren't you?"  
  
"I am?"  
  
Toad smacked his head.  
  
"Well, it's been fun all!" Trinity yelled, as they pressed the button. And they all went home.  
  
Spike went to Willys and trashed the 9 or so demons standing outside, just for general purposes.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men, G.I.Joe, or Star Trek. Red Witch came up with the unique idea of the Misfits

General Hawk sighed and rubbed his head as he stared at the safe where they'd hidden one of Trinity's more adventurous devices.

"Any idea where they went to this time?"

Cover Girl shook her head. "No idea. But Low Light's with them."

"Maybe he'll keep them in line?"

"You're kidding right?" Beach Head asked as he held an ice pack to his head. "We had a hard enough time last week talking him out of using his gas form to pull a Ghost of Christmas story on Senator Kelly."

"Wasn't that Pietro's idea?"

(insert Divider Line)

"This looks familiar." Low Light said as he looked around. "I know it does…."

"I thought we were going to visit Buffy?" Shipwreck spoke up.

"See ya! Off to explore!"

"Pietro!" Everyone yelled and tried to chase him. With the exception of Low Light and Shipwreck who were still confused.

From all over the ship, Kirk heard various statements from the intercom.

"Security to deck 2."

"Maintenance to decks 3, 4, and 5"

"Is that pudding leaking out of that door? Who put it in the Captain's living quarters?"

"Scotty is dancing with a reptiloid creature in a green dress and some kind of tie."

"There's what in the engine room?"

A loud smack came across the speakers.

"Report Bones."

"It's ok now Jim. The weird person in an ancient sailor's outfit just got slapped into the bulkhead by one of the nurses."

There was silence.

"Oh wait, he got up. Now she's got him in a chokehold. I wonder if I should tranquilize him…"

Kirk blinked. "Don't you mean her?"

"Are you nuts? Oh wait, he's running now." A pause. "I think he managed to make two other females angry. They're firing phasers and I don't think the stun setting is on."

Screaming was heard in the background.

"I don't think they learned how to shoot either… one of our maintenance staff might not be fathering children"

"Security to the hanger bay. Some green person is hopping around the ceiling with a human female. They somehow got the music to play some kind of nightmarish music."

"Help Help! Triplets are overrunning my position!"

"AHHHHHH!! I thought Vulcans didn't streak? What is that horrible smell?"

A mumble was heard in the background.

"COFFEE?? IT DID THAT TO SPOCK?"

BOOM "Ok, how did the mashed potatoes explode?"

"Security, this is maintenance. Some weird teenager is strangling one of Nurse Chapel's uniforms. He keeps calling it a stupid coyote. He just set fire to it."

Thirty seconds later. "Doctor McCoy to Nurse Chapel's room. She just knocked him out."

"What the . is that? Some guy just appeared out of smoke and is now in a brawl with Chekov!"

"Help Help! The silverware is attacking! I think the teenager in red did it! She's scaring me Mommy, I want to go home."

"Captain, we just restrained one of our new recruits… he refuses to let go of the computer monitor and keeps calling it Mommy."

"Fire teams to deck 10. Either that or chew toys… Does anyone know how to calm down a Fire Dragon named Mr. Flickers? The kid says it needs some play time."

"All hands, this is Kirk speaking. Whoever caused a tornado on the bridge and drew nude pictures on several walls, please clean up the pictures. We can handle the rest of the mess."

(insert Divider Line)

Kirk blinked. "I don't know which is worse… the fact that I wish this had been one of our normal encounters, or the fact that Bones and Scotty got drunk and slept with all of our nurses."

Althea groaned. "That's my dad. He has a talent."

"Well take him and it somewhere else. We need some peace and quiet again, like an alien entity killing off my crew. Anything has to better."

Everyone nodded and waved.

As Trinity started to set the watches, Kirk yelled. "AND TAKE THE COFFEE WITH YOU!"


End file.
